Just for Fun: Equine Advertising Translation Guide
Have you ever wondered what horse sellers really mean when they say "easy keeper"? Read this to discover the humorous meanings behind common horse ad phrases.
By Rachel Kosmal McCart
This “guide” is meant for fun and laughs, but there might be a kernel of truth in some of these definitions, so watch out for them! Do you have some of your own? Send them to us along with your name, city and state, and we’ll publish them here.
| Term or Phrase | Translation |
|---|---|
| Fit | Be prepared to buy lots of groceries! by Sherrie Nichols |
| Rides with just a halter | He’ll head-slap your brains out if you try to bridle him |
| 1,200 pounds | Weighs 950 pounds |
| Suitable for lady or child | If divorce isn’t an option, here’s Plan “B” |
| Reining prospect | Failed cutter |
| Barrel horse, free runner | Hard to keep in the arena |
| Barrel horse, push style | Never under 20 seconds |
| Strings to 16.2 | I have no idea where to measure, but I do have a string. |
| Lead liner | Do NOT turn a child loose on this one! |
| 15.2HH | 14.3HH — Just a bit too big to qualify for a pony card |
| 16.0HH | 15.2HH (with shoes on) |
| All offers considered | I’ll be in traction for the next six months, and my spouse has just left home and taken the kids. |
| Always in the ribbons | (1) As long as there are no more than six horses in the class. (2) The shows we attended gave away complimentary rosettes to everyone who entered. |
| Anyone can ride | Dead lame |
| Athletic | (1) Likes to run around the pasture, but hasn’t done a thing. (2) Runaway. See also “Bold” and “Good mover.” |
| Attention-getting | No one will miss you with this horse’s stunning bad habits. |
| Barrel prospect | Runs in circles — fast |
| Big boned | Without a mane and tail, and this horse could easily be mistaken for a cow. |
| Big Stride | Whoa, dammit, whoa!! |
| Big trot | Can’t canter within a two-mile straightaway |
| Black | Brown |
| Bold | Runaway. See also “Good mover” and “Athletic.” |
| Bombproof | (1) Won’t move, under any circumstances, without a crop AND spurs. (2) Lame on all four legs, deaf and blind. |
| Breathtaking | Spectators gasp when they see this horse buck, rear, etc. |
| Broodmare prospect | Not sound or broke, but might be fertile |
| Can be registered | Owner may remember which stud got loose |
| Can be stubborn at times | Mule |
| Children’s hunter | 14.2HH |
| Clips, hauls and loads | Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him. |
| Coursing 3 feet | When drugged to the eyeballs and longed for six hours immediately beforehand |
| Cow bred | Too bad the horse is afraid of cows |
| Cutting prospect | Cuts and runs when startled |
| Dead quiet | Lame in all four legs. See also “Quiet.” |
| Draft type | Exceedingly big, coarse and hairy. See also “Warmblood type.” |
| Dressage prospect | He’s a fire-breathing dragon over fences. |
| Easy breeder | For stallions, will mount anything that stands still long enough. For mares, always seems to be in heat. |
| Easy keeper | Fat |
| Easy to catch | Ancient and dead lame |
| Elegant | Skinny |
| Endurance prospect | Keeps going and going and going, just the like the Energizer bunny |
| Eventing prospect | Big and fast with no brakes |
| Excellent disposition | Has never left the stable |
| Finances force sale | Horse drove owner to the poor house |
| Flashy | Your life will flash before your eyes when you ride him |
| Free jumps | Jumps out of his paddock and jumps on the longe line, but does not jump under saddle |
| Fun trail mount | You’ll never be bored, but you might have to walk back to the barn on your own two feet. |
| Gaited | Make that “gated” — has run through the arena gate, the pasture gate… |
| Good ground manners | But don’t try to ride him. |
| Good mother | Thank goodness, because it’s the only thing she’s good at! |
| Good mover | (1) Runaway. See also “Athletic” and “Bold.” (2) Only stumbles occasionally these days. |
| Great for the farrier | Owner was reaching while trying to find good qualities to advertise. |
| Great project | Has big-time issues (see also “lots of potential”) |
| Green | Anything from “has had a rider on — once — and bucked him off” to “only jumping 2’6″” |
| Gymkhana prospect | Hyper and needs a tiedown |
| Halter prospect | Not broke to ride. Probably not halter broken, either. |
| Hand raised | And spoiled rotten! See also “Home bred.” |
| Has been shown | But didn’t win anything |
| Health forces sale | Horse made current owner crazy |
| Home bred | Has never left home |
| Hunter prospect | (1) Won’t go slow enough for Western Pleasure. (2) Should be on the track. |
| Imprinted at birth | See “hand raised” |
| In training | Horse needs professional help |
| Jumper prospect | Jumps out of his pasture regularly |
| Kid safe/Kid broke | As long as your kid has a Velcro butt! |
| Lack of time forces sale | Owner can’t afford to spend any more time in the hospital |
| Light cribber | We couldn’t afford to build any more stalls and fences for this equine chainsaw |
| Lots of potential | Hasn’t done a thing |
| Loves children | Especially for breakfast! |
| Loves to cuddle | Will knock you over when she tries to use you as a scratching post |
| Loves people | Especially when they are feeding him and not asking him to do anything that resembles work |
| Loves to work | If he doesn’t get out every day, he’ll tear down the barn. Get your longe line ready… |
| Must sell | Price negotiable. See also “Any offers considered.” |
| Needs a bit of finishing work | See “green” and “great project” |
| Needs advanced rider | Such as a professional bronc rider |
| Needs a strong rider | Preferably with nerves of steel |
| Needs quiet rider | Will run off at the slightest provocation |
| Never stops at fences | Including the arena fence, the paddock fence, the neighbors’ fences … |
| Nicely started | Longes, but we don’t have enough insurance to ride him |
| No time for him | Horse is lucky to be fed |
| No vices | (1) No attributes, either. (2) Especially when he wears his muzzle. |
| Parelli trained | Owner bought a rope halter and some videos |
| Pony type | Small and hairy |
| Price available upon request | If you have to ask, you can’t afford him. |
| Priced to sell | Owner can’t get rid of this horse fast enough |
| Private treaty | See “price available upon request.” |
| Professionally trained | Owner shelled out big bucks, regardless of how little the horse knows now |
| Protective mother | Will attack anyone who comes within a three-stall radius |
| Proven broodmare | As long you care more about quantity than quality |
| Quarter Horse type | Stout |
| Quiet | Lame in both front legs. See also “Dead Quiet.” |
| Pasture horse | Will kick a new door in his stall to get outside |
| Ready to start | Riding age, but hasn’t done a thing |
| Recent vet check/X-rays | Some other poor buyer paid big bucks to find out what is wrong with this horse |
| Reining prospect | (1) Skids to a stop right before running into the fence. (2) Spins and runs when startled. |
| Sacrifice | Family won’t come back home until he’s gone |
| Sadly outgrown | Owner traded up |
| Schoolmaster | Been there, done that, annoyed at having to do it again and again |
| Serious inquiries only | Overpriced |
| Serviceably sound | Even with very expensive care, almost always lame |
| Show quality | But has never been to a show |
| Shown successfully | (1) Horse and rider got in and out of the arena in one piece (mostly). (2) Won a reserve championship five years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a hurricane. |
| Sound | Sound today… |
| Spirited | Psychotic |
| Sporthorse | Cross-breed, probably with draft blood |
| Stallion prospect | Rank stud colt that owner doesn’t want to spend the money to geld |
| Started on cows | Turned out in pasture with cows |
| Started over fences | Walked over ground poles. Tripped. |
| Started under saddle | Has had saddle on (but no rider) |
| Still growing | 14.2HH now, but hope springs eternal |
| To good home only | Not really for sale unless you will pay twice what he is worth and sign a 10-page legal document allowing current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night |
| To loving home only | Expensive |
| To show home only | Very expensive |
| Trail horse | (1) Ring sour. (2) Current owner is a good enough rider to keep this horse between him and ground for most rides. You may not be so skilled/lucky. |
| Vet checks welcome | Please help us figure out what the heck is wrong with this horse. |
| Warmblood type | Big, coarse and hairy. See also “Draft type.” |
| Well-bred | (1) Too bad he didn’t inherit any of his forebears’ good traits. (2) Sire and dam are also brother and sister. |
| Well-mannered | Hasn’t stepped on, run over, bitten or kicked anyone in almost a week |
| Western pleasure prospect | Too slow for gymkhana |
| Will mature to 15.2H | 14HH now at the age of four |
| Will mature to 16HH | Currently 14 HH, dam is 14.2HH, sire is 14.3HH |
| Ranch horse prospect | (1) Failed reiner. (2) Too forward for Western pleasure. |
Share this article
Written by: Rachel Kosmal McCart
Rachel Kosmal McCart is a lifelong horsewoman and the founder of Equine Legal Solutions, PC, an equine law firm based in the Portland, Oregon area. Rachel is a member of the New York, California, Oregon and Washington State bars and is admitted to practice before the U.S. District Court for the District of Oregon and the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California. Rachel currently competes in three-day eventing.
