You Know You’re a Horse Person When

Can you relate to any of the following?

Homelife and Personal Tastes

• There are wood shavings at the bottom of your washing machine.
• Your house has a “mud room” that actually contains mud.
• The vacuum in your barn is used far more frequently than the vacuum in your house.
• Tractor Supply ranks high on the list of your favorite stores.
• Your spouse gives you a “seat saver” for Christmas, and you consider it a really thoughtful gift.
• Your horse receives three types of supplements every day, but you can’t remember to take a daily vitamin.
• There is at least one horse product catalog in every bathroom in your home.
• Your warehouse club shopping list includes several gallons of corn oil.
• The potted plants in front of your barn look a lot better than your houseplants.
• You use the same jar of peanut butter for making sandwiches and administering pills.
• Your wallet is stolen, and your first concern is your amateur card.
• Your house features lots of framed professional photographs of your horses, but you forgot to fill out the order form for your child’s school pictures.
• You have a display case dedicated to belt buckles.
• You can rattle off the pedigree of every horse on your property but have no interest in family genealogy.
• The most frequently consulted reference book in your home: “The Horse Owner’s Veterinary Manual.”
• You will drive all night after work to get to a show on time, but it’s “too far” to visit family who live 50 miles away.
• Your clothes dryer’s lint trap contains alfalfa.
• The sole contents of your safety deposit box are equine registration papers.
• A typical family mealtime discussion includes worming and/or what the cat left on the back steps.
• Your grocery list includes Karo syrup, and you have no plans to bake anything.
• Your show saddle cost more than your engagement ring.
• You are a rat trap expert.
• There is a boot scraper outside every door in your home.

Vehicles

• The church youth group refuses to take your vehicle at its car wash unless you agree to pay double.
• You would never consider paying $50K for a luxury sedan, but a towing vehicle? Now, that’s a different story!
• The price of diesel is under $3/gallon, but it still costs $100 every time you fill up.
• You avoid parking in certain parking lots because the spaces aren’t big enough.
• The local gas station operator turns on the air machine when he sees you pull in.
• You know exactly how many bales of hay fit in your vehicle.
• You can look under your floor mats and trace the history of last show season.
• Your trunk smells a lot like beet pulp.
• There is at least one hat rack installed in your vehicle.
• If you see a warning sign for clearance, you find a place to turn around.
• You choose a restaurant based on its parking lot and your table based on its view of the parking lot.

Clothing

• You have more than four “barn jackets.”
• Your footwear selection includes at least six pairs of boots.
• You have at least 10 pairs of jeans, divided into “barn,” “good” and “show.”
• Your everyday attire includes a cellphone holder studded with rhinestones.
• The only color-coordinated outfit in your closet includes chaps.
• An entire section of your wardrobe is dedicated to horse washing.
• On any given day, you are wearing something made by Carhartt.
• The Quarter Horse Congress is your fashion bellwether.

Personal Grooming

• Your horse has a full line of tail care products, a complete wardrobe of tail bags and a custom-made tail extension, but you can’t remember the last time you had a haircut.
• Your horse uses mousse and hairspray, and you don’t.
• You are a connoisseur of tiny rubber bands.
• Number of items in your horse’s grooming kit: 23. Number of items in your makeup kit: 4 (and one of them is Chapstick).
• Your fingernails are sporting splotches of hoof black.
• Your horse uses more expensive shampoo than you do.
• You used “Cowboy Magic” on your own hair before the ads with the frizzy-haired person came out.
• You have ever fly-sprayed yourself — on purpose!
• Your teenage daughter asks to borrow your hair spray, and you send her out to the horse trailer to look for it.